Crossdressers-Forum.com

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

I find it amusing how many people on this site seem fixated with the differences between men and women. There is this massive emphasis on the gender divide and mental differences.
I would have thought as people who crossdress we would percieve a minimal and very blurring gender divide that was irrelavant anyway and emphasis similarities in gender as after all we do not comform to the norms of our sex in the perception of society yet everyone seems to want to there to be this massive difference between men and women.
Perhaps if there is a divide and the difference more extreme it gives crossdressers something more solid and fixed to aim for. the whole girls in dresses, soft and sweet thing and boys and agressive and drab.after all i suppose there is a fear of whats the point if the sexes were even more alike in their presentation and behavioural patterns and in many cases they are in fact we ourselves are evidence of that.
I am more of a gender bender than a fixed aim of being manish i like blurry lines and butch girls and femme boy and know so many of them that i find these gender stereotypes extremely funny. women gentle and nurturing and unagressive? please when it comes to survival anyone can agressivly kill another. a great equaliser

[April Rose]

Dante, I'm in substantial agreement with you. I think it can be hard to accept this for people of my generation or older.

Sometimes, stereotype is all we cross dressers have. I think that has to do with why it causes so much trouble for our spouses.
_________________
I am a vessel of the Goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

Indeed is just a theory of mine. I doubt its true in all cases just in the cases of those who keep saying men are different from chicks and girls look better in dresses all the time LOl. nice to see you agree thought i might get angry comments for that thought. you know touches a nerve and all that

[Susan]

For me its not a case of liking to dress - not any more but its a need rather than a desire.

In view of how much I have spent on Susan over the years I rather doubt anyone would chose to cross dress if they thought about it in advance. That is on top of the social ramifications.
_________________
Susan

There are 10 types of people - those who understand binary and those who don't

[Diane Light]

Responding to my friends on the male/female and how it relates to God.

Think about this:

God is neither. Gender is only required in the physical realm for procreation. Spirits need this not. God created man in his own image, meaning his spirit, not his physical earthly look, since the Bible tells us God is spirit. Spirit is not made up of atoms and molecules, and that is where people misunderstand. The universe will burn out one day because it is physical, made up of atoms.

Spiritual (God, angels, demons and our soul included) is not made up of atoms and is not affected by time or physical laws. A whole different concept. But spirit created and controls physical (atoms). Jesus being the best, manipulating atoms to walk on water, change body atoms to rid disease, rearrange atoms in an eye to make it perfect for a person to see, etc..

When Jesus told the people God knew where every hair on their head was, they were in awe at his vastness. I tell you God knows where ever atom in the universe is. He's that omnipresent.

[Leeza]

Thank you, Diane.

I always wondered about that

[Elizabeth]

Hi DanteCarri,

[Andrea Elise]

I am some sort of a mix of male and female. Sometimes a frustrating mix.

I can't say I agree with the idea of female superiorty, nor do I agree with male superiorty.

I think that the concept is one imposed by society. I do agree that males have tried to impose this thinking. And males have been successful in that until recently.

I also see this whole male thing as a crumbling false hood. Both sexes add strengths and weaknesses to the mix. That brings up my point that as a couple, we humans seem to work well, as though by design.

I have to wonder where the more liberated women will take society. Hopefully not to another extreme.

I don't CD to to feel more powerful as a woman.

I do it because it feels natural and comfortable, to me. The clothes are smooth and colorful. I feel much more relaxed when dressed as a woman. Maybe, because as such, I no longer have to live up to my own expectations. Or not. Or maybe I just am not sure. But it is certanly not that I feel more powerful.

Nor do I 'worship' women. I have seen too many women that had to fight hard problems due to the simple fact that they were born female. I would agree that I do envy women. Just because they have what I desperately want, the freedom to wear whatever they choose.

Are we to leave out the FtM segment of our world. What about that. Is that to be chalked up as envy? What did Eve have to do with that?

No, I am not being argumentative. The above is a valid question. Why? because I don't have an answer.

I feel female. I have to be careful not to act female. I have to watch how I speak, how I hold my hands and don't gesture too much when talking. According to my SO, I need to be more aware of what I am doing when in public, because my cover is beginning to crumble.

I belive that in many ways, we are all (CD) similar, but, there are many more in which we are not.

I know, it would be nice to have an equation. By substituting terms, we could have......

Andrea
_________________
And it feels like me...On a good day

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

Epic post i like very much and agree with your analysis.
I agree the world is best with a mix of men and women and we work well together not necessarily saying we are designed to work best as partners cas well some of us are gay and thats fine to but we all have a mix of good friends hopefully. I always find people who went to single sexed schools always end up very weird and often as stereotypes.
I went to an all girls school first for 10 years most people who stayed there ended up extremely fem then i went to a school that had been all male and was just turning co ed and they had some extremely bizaree backwards machoistic views so that proves that gender isolation isn't natural or good it means taht it is extremely healthy to mix as it allows you to see all sides and become who you are naturally with as little brainwashing as possible.
Overly stereotypical gender places are not good for anyone but especially not people like us who don't fit in perfect little models of what we supposedly should be so i think its hilariously funny how people seem to wnat their to be these huge better female qualities that are just so damn female and just so darn superior.
LOL i am physically weak as a female and i bloody hate it. its not better it means if i got lost in the jungle and had to climb a huge cliff face or something i might need male aid and that sucks. but i am not cuddly or more nurturing I really hate kids

[Georgia(SO)]

Ok. I'm supposed to be working and just skimmed the above posts, but hit them enough to know this. The argument of male superiority v. female superiority is a crock, originally invented by those who needed validation in their feelings of superiority or inferiority. And it is not limited to gm's who need to feel patriarchal and superior to gg's - there is little nastier than a couple of high and mighty gg's talking about how superior women are to men, although they rarely use the term superior. But I digress...

Speaking strictly in generalities now... basically, men and women are different - but those differences do not equal a superior or inferior position in anything. They are just simply different. Like is an apple superior to an orange. Is a Ford superior to a tomato? It all depends on what you are planning to do with it.

To get hung up on whether one sex is overall superior to the other is not only fruitless but damaging. As a single-gender gg, I am not at all going to concede that men are generally superior to us girls. But as the mother of four sons, and no daughters, whose favorite people are men - well, I'm not about to postulate that my sons, my sweetie and my guy friends are inferior to me either.

I can't begin to postulate why people cross-dress, although I suspect that it is less related to thoughts that the opposite sex is superior. I suspect that dual-genderness is biological in some way - hormones, synapses, something-something-something neurological/spiritual/soul related.

Being single-gendered, you should all take my thoughts with the proverbial grain of sand, but I suspect that cross-dressing arises from a need or want to address a sense of bi-genderness, which comes from who knows where, and that arguments about wanting to emulate women or men whom you admire - well to me they sound offkey. There are people I admire - not individuals, but entire groups of people - like artists. But I don't don a beret, stick paintbrushes in my back pocket, take a new name and hope that I pass as one. I admire men a great deal - actually like them far better than most women, but I don't attempt to pass as one. Ergo, it seems to me that any effort to emulate the opposite sex because of admiration grows out of the need to dress, rather being the cause of the dressing.

As best I can tell, people cross dress because it meets some inexplicable need to make their outsides match at least part of their insides. Good enough for me.

Back to the salt mines...
-g(so)

[April Rose]

"I suspect that dual-genderness is biological in some way - hormones, synapses, something-something-something neurological/spiritual/soul related." Georgia; I think you're right about that. I've done the self examination, I've lived up to my moral, legal and family responsiblities. I don't think my life as an effeminate is the result of moral failure.


"it seems to me that any effort to emulate the opposite sex because of admiration grows out of the need to dress, rather being the cause of the dressing."
You're right about that as well. Whether you can love a person like that is a matter for your own heart.
_________________
I am a vessel of the Goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

[DanteCarrie (FTM)]

Cool I agree though once again i don't think women and men are taht different mentally but physically of course very very different thats what is so fun.
I don't really admire people taht much except my partner and when I CD i don aim to look anything like him.
bi-genderism? hmm maybe i dunno.

I like being female i wouldn't change it (although if I'd be asked before i was born which gender I'd like to be I think I'd of picked male) but i wouldn't go back in time now and do that.

I think i CD because of the same reason i also dress gothic or feminine at times: because I find it sexually attractive.
Most people are attracted to things but don't emulate it I always have. people ask me why i dress goth i say well i find goth sexy so I like to wear it. i find androgynous people sexy so i dress taht way. I find taht whole genderbending look arousing so I wear it.
i.e. i do it cas its hot and i bloody well like feeling hot so
dunno if I'm bigendered maybe i don't care. I like what i like and i dress like what i like. i like men and women so dress like them LOL

[Andrea Elise]

Oh, maybe I am just rebellious and cross boundries because it sets the staid straight laced members of society so on edge!

That would be a yes answer.

And/or, maybe it is "sexy". For me, it is comfortable to dress female and "sexy", too.

I could go on with all the hypothetical stuff, but...

I am still left wondering about the gender of ones soul. If we have one, I'd like to believe we do. (Like to believe). Or, is it just the way our brain was wired? Or, was it......

There are some that MUST have the whole package, and there are others that just want to "pass" and on and on. This "blessing" seems to run full spectrum. As Georgia said so well "I can't begin to speculate why..."

I really liked your post, Georgia. Also, DanteCarrie's. Maybe in the future there will be some science that can pin it down. In the interim, I, too, will just be satisfied with what it is.

Everyones contribution to this thread has given me a lot to think about. I can say that all I have"met" here are wonderful and unique.

That is why I like this forum so much!

Andrea
_________________
And it feels like me...On a good day

[KenetaO]

Diane,

As wonderful and grand as your effort was to compile all these thoughts, feelings, perceptions, it all for me boils down to a feeling of comfort! I do appreciate your effort, it was very compelling!

I feel wonderful when I dressup! It is that feeling deep inside that I re-kindle each and every time I dress! It doesn't matter to me if my entire outfit is head to toe complete or if I am just trying on a recent purchase. The feeling is what I get that keeps me dressing!

Yesterday as an example, I found a couple of tops that I thought would look good with a skirt I have, as I tried it on, I realized they were a couple of shades different and it was probably ok, but it didn't feel right to me! Disgusted with my purchase not being as I had pictured it in my minds eye, do they sell glasses for the mind's eye? If they don't they need to invent some, mine is way off colorwise! LOL

To re-center myself emotionally, I put on my best black 4" high heels, my black leggings over my padded buttcheek panties, my black bra stuffed with my homemade forms, my hot pink top, my full blonde wig, no face makeup (it was almost 100 degrees here yesterday) and I went outside to walk around some and cool off inside. It felt great to strut my stuff and enjoy the outfit that may be a little too tarty for some but it feels great on me and my internal perception is the only one that really matters!

"People will forget what you do and say, but they NEVER forget how you made them FEEL"!

Sweetness and Love,
KenetaO

[Absaroka]

Dante I really liked your comment about being fixated on differences. I'd have to agree with you.

I think sometimes we do this because it helps us justify what we do. But my clothing needs no justification.

Zari
_________________
everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon