Crossdressers-Forum.com

[Celia]

Thanks, Deb.

-Celia

[Wendae]

As stated this is a great thread. I think it needs to be reserected. While I also wear the panties in the family I am of the old breed and still view my self as the provider and protecter. That was the way I was raised. I believe my wife still views me in this light. She still will not talk about my cding desires or accept any attempts on my part to gain interest or understanding. Hopefully I will never have to wield a sword while in fem defending my wife and family but, I would if need be. It's possible that I may be viewed as the fairy knight with tarnished armor(or sissified) but be that as it may it would be a serious misconception if there was a need for me to smack someone with my purse.
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I believe I was a lesbian in my past life

[London]

Wow! What a great thread. I am going to ask El to read this and comment. Very moving.

[CJ]

Hi all,

Well, I have been described, by an old flame, as "a knight in tarnished armour." Does that count?

Seriously, on the surface, the knight in shining armour is as dead as the damsel in distress. These are hoary fictions and I'm happy they're retired. I say "on the surface" because the stereotypes linger (as stereotypes usually do); people need them in order to make some kind of sense of the world. But the world doesn't really make any kind of sense; however, people--individuals--do (or can). So, who brings home the bacon? who's the strong, protective one in the family? who's the one taking charge? Well, that depends on whether or not you consider the person running the home to be the one in charge or if you consider the person who makes it possible for there to BE a home to be in charge. In the end, it's a case-by-case matter. Actually, it has always been so: I look at the effort traditionally expended by women in the home and I find them to be the knights (or, rather, damsels) in shining armour.

In my case, Roxanne is more the material provider in our couple, and I'm more the home organizer and provider of emotional comforts. Neither of us are knights in shining armour nor damsels in distress. We're both individuals who provide, each according to his or her means and abilities, the necessities for the healthy life of our couple and home.

This is as it should be, no?

Love,
CJ
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[Absaroka]

Wendae thanks for resurrecting this thread. It's a great one.

Personally I have NEVER thought women were the weaker sex. Even in a place like Afghanistan. Do you think men could survive what women have had to endure at the hands of the Taliban?

As for the whole KSA thing, read Sojurner Truth's speech sometime about what being a woman meant for her.

My maternal grandmother felt the same way. I posted something about her several years back. Like many women in her time and place, the only thing she ever needed a man for was to get pregnant. Nowadays she wouldn't even need him for that.

My wife was looking for a KSA. Of course today the shining armor is a 3 peice suit and the horse is a nice car. She and her girlfriends used to laugh about how they got us instead. But the truth of the matter is the first time the knight tried to boss her around he'd be history.

Yes most men have just as many feelings as women, are just as vulnerable. We just express them differently. I personally am a bit of a drama queen. My wife is fond of saying that all those women married to strong silent types don't know how lucky they are. But still, she married me, because in spite of what she thinks, she can't stand the strong silent type either.


Zari
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everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon

[Wendae]

CJ

[CJ]

Hi all,

Wendae,

You're right, I'm thinking more of the younger generations. Those born after Woodstock seem to have little use for chivalry stereotypes. I think what bothers me about the "knight in shining armour" type is the idea that, when a woman "needs saving" (and you can interpret that in a thousand different ways), it's a noble thing and a sacrifice for a man to do so but, when a man needs to be tended to and "saved," it's a woman's duty to do so (again, according to stereotype).

I'm sorry to hear your wife had to battle cancer, Wendae (but I'm glad she's in remission). Let me ask you this: if the roles had been reversed and she had had to take care of you as you fought the illness, would you automatically come to think of your wife as your knight in shining armour or rather as a dutiful wife fulfilling her obligations as a natural caregiver? To me, the latter stereotype is only slightly less repugnant than the former. Both lock human beings into social models that eclipse people's individuality. Seems to me all of us are, variously, and at one time or another, knights, damsels, chivalrous, and dutiful, regardless of gender or sex.

Going strictly by the stereotypes, most of the women I know in my life--from my first girlfriend all the way to the Admins of this very forum--are knights in shining armour; they have inner strength coupled to a nobility of spirit that is of a tremendous help to others who are going through tough times (and, in the case of this forum, the damsels in distress are mostly men--go figure!).

Love,
CJ
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[Wendae]

CJ

[Jen (SO)]

I don't think that my man is at all less of a man now that I know he is a crossdresser. I admit, I was very surprised - he is a very "manly man", if you will, but he is still - and will always be - my knight in shining armor who squashes the bugs... just maybe in high heels this time!

[Absaroka]

Why is he squashing the bugs anyway? What did they do to you? or him?

Zari
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everything under the sun is in tune
but the sun is eclipsed by the moon